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There were quite a few people at my mother’s funeral this week.  I did a pretty good job of remember names and a few details about their lives.  I enjoyed chatting with them and hearing them remember their friendship and association with my mother and father.  My mother was not gregarious,  out-going or a social butterfly.  In fact,  I think she suffered from some social anxiety.

What I learned from this celebration of her life is that she was a good friend.  She was a reliable treasurer and adviser to the Mu Phi Epsilon Chapter in Cleveland Heights, Ohio for many years.  She had a gentle way about her but it was never a good idea to cross her sense of right and wrong!  She devoted her life to her husband and children.  Her faith journey passed from the Methodist Church to a Plymouth Brethren Assembly and then to a Disciples of Christ Church.  My entire family was strongly influenced by the Billy Graham ministry.    After my father died, she was afraid to be alone.  Her final days were spent wrestling with God about her final breath.

Location, location, location

The advantages of living in the same city,  never moving,  never being far from home for long really enabled my mother to have long-lasting friendships.  It was such a joy to be surround by so many of her life long friends and some of my own during this time of sorrow and celebration.

What does it take to establish and maintain important relationships and long distance friendships?

Does the internet, Facebook, text-messaging, email and actual phone conversations really do the trick?

What are the benefits of being around people that have know you “forever”?

Share your thoughts!

On April 3, 2012 we celebrated by mother’s life.   Born in Cleveland, Ohio, on June 12, 1929, she lived for almost 83 years.  The celebration included favorite hymns like:  It is Well with My Soul,  Jesus Loves Me, Just as I Am, This is my Father’s World, Amazing Grace and How Great Thou Art.  I played piano and Lauren led us in meditation with Amazing Grace on the viola.  The Reverend Kris Eggert and Barbara Holzhauser from Hospice of the Western Reserve shared scripture and their personal wisdom  with the 50+ friends and family gathered at the funeral home.  My daughter, Lauren, read from Ecclesiastes  Chapter 7:

1 A good reputation is more valuable than the most expensive perfume. In the same way, the day you die is better than the day you are born. 2 It is better to spend your time at funerals than at festivals. For you are going to die, and you should think about it while there is still time. 3 Sorrow is better than laughter, for sadness has a refining influence on us. (NLT)

I didn’t feel grief.  I felt sorrow that the time of being with my mother in physical form had passed.  I didn’t feel fear for her.  I felt fear about my own life.  Am I holding myself accountable for every moment,  every action,  every word,  every thought?

During the service and afterwards,  I felt joy.  So much joy.

I wish I had more time at the grave site.  I wanted to linger and absorb the awakening of nature and the spirits floating around greeting the new “resident”.  I hope the deer are enjoying the beautiful yellow roses we left behind.

During the last few months of my mother’s life, she suffered through the final stages of Alzheimer’s disease.  She experienced terminal restlessness which means that she had panic attack-like episodes, fear, anxiety, as well as physical restlessness.  Barb Holzhauser described this period as the struggle between the body and the soul at the end of life in physical form.  Loosening the bond between the temporal body and the eternal soul can be difficult.  The conversation between God and one’s soul is intimate and real.   My mother’s last week of life was spent peacefully in bed, surround by family and hospice caregivers and beautiful music.  She had lost the ability to swallow and did not have any food or fluid for seven days.  On March 30th, 2012, she took her last breath with her daughter Debbie next to her.  We are all so thankful for the support and love shared by the care-giving team of Hospice of the Western Reserve.  We learned so much about the dying process and the love and respect one can give to an individual in their final days and breaths on this earth.

Barbara K. Seaver

June 12, 1029 – March 30, 2012

She was a devoted wife, mother, teacher and a gentle friend to many.

You are resting in peace this day.

Seek and you will find
Knock and the door will be open
Ask and you will receive
For such is the way of the Lord

Believe it is true before it is a reality!

People buy from people they know, trust and like. They know enough about them to trust them. They know enough about them to like them. They want to know more! Put your authentic self out there, I want to know you!

How do you define abundance?

Common words associated with abundance are:

 extremely plentiful

over-sufficient quantity or supply

overflowing fullness

1. How much of the food I eat is really high quality nutrition?
2. How much money do I spend on junk, sweets and food that I will just throw away because it has spoiled or doesn’t interest me anymore?
3. How often do I finish every bite of a huge portion of restaurant food because “I paid for it”?
4. How often do I “feed” my stress-filled mind by putting food in my mouth?
5. Why do I reward myself with food?

It is time to redefine abundance!

Abundance affirmations:

• I can save money by not purchasing junk food and excess food.
• I can afford to spend  money on the highest quality food available.
• I can find fresh, nutritious food on the outside aisles of the grocery.
• I share or get smaller plate meals at restaurants.  I eat until I am satisfied.
• I spend less time eating and cooking.  I have more time to enjoy life.
• I have peace of mind.  I know that I am doing the best I can for myself.
• I feel good all over.   My body is rewarding me for loving it.
• I feed my mind with good thoughts.
• I am satisfied with the portion of  food my body requires!

This summer I cleaned, threw away and gave to the neighbors every item in my refrigerator and pantry that contained high-fructose corn syrup.  I had hardly anything left in my house!  It felt really good!

How else can we shift our abundance thinking about food?  Please give me your suggestions!

I am a conspicuous consumer…………..of food.  I love food!  This past weekend we traveled to St. Louis.  Our first stop was Landry’s Seafood, the Rue Lafayette for breakfast,  the Botanical Gardens for lunch and on to Broadway Oyster Bar for dinner, Union Station Marriot breakfast buffet and lunch at the Blue Springs Cafe ( a Man vs. Food recommendation)!

I carry around my passion every day in the form of extra weight that everyone can see.  I have unlimited access to food of all types and variety.  I love to cook and create in the kitchen.  I hate to clean up!

In societies of the past,  it was a sign of wealth and status to be surrounded by extra fat.  Today we see the rich and the poor trying to manage their lives with weight they don’t want.  I remember walking around the Indiana State Fair and for the first time really feeling the pain of being overweight.  The combination of heat, the smell of deep-fried everything and dragging myself around the midway really made me sick.

Yet, this fact remains:  I have attracted this.  I have intentionally told my body this is what I want and it has heeded my command.  I have engaged in a long battle with my body.  We have been in a love-hate relationship for as long as I can remember.

It is time to wave the white flag and sign a peace agreement.

I want a perfectly proportional body.  I am now consciously  attracting this body.  I am using every strength I possess,  every level of awareness I have and every energetic field available to me.  I am ready to allow my body to change.  I am ready to receive the new me, NOW!

Only two days until the New Year begins.

Are you ready?

I would like to suggest that today is the days to begin thinking seriously about your resolutions, intentions and big picture goals for 2012.

1. Write down your top three.
2. Make sure they are goals and not measures of success.
3. How will you hold yourself accountable?  Who is your buddy?

Another idea for this new beginning is to set out some ways that you will support family members, close friends and co-workers in the new year.  Resolutions and intentions will not only benefit you.

I think that this is the year I need to step back and really start treating my 16 year old son like a man.  It is time for me to start showing him more respect.  The transition from demanding mother to a “loving female role model” in his life is going to be one of my intentions for 2012.  I think it will probably scare him.

There was a wonderful scene from the sitcom Modern Family that was posted on youtube recently.  At a party in their home, the wife was making fun of her husbands inability to provide her with a new dishwasher and everyone was laughing.  The situation was a classic example of disrespectful behavior between husband and wife.

Research has concluded that;

a man would rather me respected than loved.

A woman would rather be loved than respected.

Let me know when you want to discuss this!

At the end of the scene the husband pulls a brand new dishwasher out of a hiding place with a Christmas bow wrapped around it.  Wow! Dead silence.  Awkward silence.

How can your resolutions and intentions benefit the whole world in 2012?

During the Christmas Eve service at Tabernacle Presbyterian in Indianapolis, the sermon focused on the anticipation of Christmas Eve. The description was about the concept of the meniscus that forms when the molecules of a liquid cling more closely to one another than to the sides of the container forming a convex curve.  One more drop of liquid and the container will overflow. Truly, the feeling that you are about to burst if Christmas morning does not come soon!

One of my favorite hymn s of the Advent season from the Lutheran hymnal was called Unexpected and Mysterious.  I like that idea. I always try to surprise my family with unexpected gifts that were not on their “list”!   The advent of the birth of Christ seems so logical now when we look back on it. Knowing about the life of Christ and the traditions that surround this celebration make this event seem mundane.

The spirit of the celebration is still about the Unknown.

The anticipation we can feel about the unexpected and mysterious workings that are going on behind the scenes in our own lives can cause us to be fearful just as it did for many individuals surround the Christ child. We may be prepared for the expected.  We may have correctly anticipated reality.

Are we ready for the unexpected?  Are we willing to recognize the mysterious? How can we calm our fear, trust in the divine plan orchestrated by Love, and embrace the unexpected and mysterious as it enters our lives in 2012?