Are you at the “Tipping Point” with this weather?

img_persephone
Persephone, goddess queen of the underworld

I visited the Indianapolis Museum of Art over the weekend and viewed a marble sculpture of this goddess and read her story.  It reminded me that the sadness I feel is not just about the state of my life but more about my current environment;  an environment that everyone around me is currently sharing.

Long story short:  Persephone was a Greek goddess that was taken to the underworld to be Haide’s bride.  She ate some Pomegranate seeds while she was there so she was only allowed to return to earth for six months of the year.  During those months the earth would experience the vibrance of spring and summer.  When she would leave again to return to the underworld the earth would stop its growth and we would have fall and winter.  The sadness of her mother, Demeter, during the absence of her daughter, Persephone, is what we feel each year at this time.

Another day of school closings.  My high school senior son may have a delayed graduation!  I think we have all reached the tipping point with disrupted schedules, weather fear and seasonal depression!

At the same time, I am reading Malcolm Gladwell‘s, The Tipping Point.  The story he used for this idea was the transformation of the subway system in NYC that started with cleaning up the graffiti on the cars and in the terminals.

The Power of Context is an environmental argument.  It says that behavior is a function of social context.     …..an epidemic can be reversed , can be tipped, by tinkering with the smallest details of the immediate environment.

What subtle changes can I make in my environment today that will keep me from going over the edge?

What is missing from your picture perfect world?

As I write this newsletter, I have positioned my laptop in front the window in my office so I can absorb the rays of sunshine and bright reflection off the icy snow.  I am staying indoors again today as arctic air and winds blow through the Midwest.  I should be accomplishing great things during these days of “homeboundness” but instead I feel restless and anxious.  This is the perfect time to dig deep into a conversation about perfectionism…..or is it?

I am currently enrolled in The Gifts of Imperfection eCourse with Brenè Brown and Oprah.  We all want to experience a perfect life, perfect health, perfect children, perfect careers and eventually perfect retirement.  Here are some of her thoughts:

  • Perfectionism is other-focused—What will they think?
  • Research shows that perfectionism hampers success. In fact, it’s often the path to depression, anxiety, addiction, and life-paralysis.
  • Perfection is an unattainable goal.

The solution:

A moment of self-compassion can change your entire day. A string of such moments can change the course of your life.

I am tired of how-to lists that are everywhere!  I want to move into JUST DO’s!

What is holding us back?

Perfectionism.  If I can’t do it perfectly, if the desired results are not realized or I might be disappointed when I reach a goal then I experience resistance to even starting.  Resistance serves an important function.

Dutch parties candidates at TV Channel for ChildrenI like to call this the balloon effect.  It is very difficult to start blowing up a balloon.  If you really want to blow it up then you will push through the initial resistance until the air flows easily into the balloon.  The resistance serves as a test of will and desire.

Embrace the resistance, it is a sign that we are on to something bigger than ourselves.

The cost of not taking a chance and failing is greater than the cost of not trying something new at all.  Practicing a new skill or formulating a new idea into reality takes repetition.  One of my biggest downfalls is the inclination to give up early in the game.  Without exception, at the time when I am ready to bail, the reward was on its way but had not gotten to me just yet.  While I was frustrated about responses or engagement on the part of others, they were already thinking about me and ready to engage except I did not know it yet.

I decided to really catch myself every time I said the word perfect.  I had no idea how much perfectionist language permeated every aspect of my life.  The effect it is having on the people around me has gone completely unnoticed.  As I begin to use alternate words, the people I am working with soften,  smile, even glow…………who knew it could be this easy!

How do your weaknesses create opportunities?

Strengths-Based Psychology, developed by Donald Clifton, asked us to “focus on what is right with people”.  While I am committed to this work,  without exception, I am asked to explain how to deal with one’s weaknesses.  This is the best answer I have heard to that question!

“Strengths exist so we can make a difference in others’ lives.   Weaknesses exist so that other people can make a difference in our lives. Both are necessary for interdependence.”  DeAnna Murphy

http://www.unlockingstrengths.com/

“Vulnerability and Interdependence”, published in the Savannah Business Journal  is a wonderful read.    Dennis Hopper has interviewed  Strengths Strategist DeAnna Murphy and shared his “AHA” moments.

https://www.savannahbusinessjournal.com/news-sp-175186560/featured-columnists/3788-jan-13-%E2%80%93-columnist-dennis-hooper-%E2%80%9Cvulnerability-and-interdependence%E2%80%9D.html

Strengths + Weaknesses = Interdependence

 

“When you focus on the practice instead of the performance, you can enjoy the present moment and improve at the same time. “

This is a great article by James Clear: please read the entire article!  james-clear-circle-250

When my strengths coach, Brent O’Bannon told me to get my systems in place so I was ready for more clients and more business I went out and  bought a new business wardrobe, worked with a makeup consultant and had everything ready to go on short notice.  What he really meant was to have my business systems in place!  I get it now!

Forget Setting Goals. Focus on This Instead.

BY  | December 17, 2013

Let’s talk about three more reasons why you should focus on systems instead of goals.

1. Goals reduce your current happiness.

When you’re working toward a goal, you are essentially saying, “I’m not good enough yet, but I will be when I reach my goal.”

The problem with this mindset is that you’re teaching yourself to always put happiness and success off until the next milestone is achieved. “Once I reach my goal, then I’ll be happy. Once I achieve my goal, then I’ll be successful.”

SOLUTION: Commit to a process, not a goal.

Choosing a goal puts a huge burden on your shoulders. Can you imagine if I had made it my goal to write two books this year? Just writing that sentence stresses me out.

But we do this to ourselves all the time. We place unnecessary stress on ourselves to lose weight or to succeed in business or to write a best-selling novel. Instead, you can keep things simple and reduce stress by focusing on the daily process and sticking to your schedule, rather than worrying about the big, life-changing goals.

When you focus on the practice instead of the performance, you can enjoy the present moment and improve at the same time.

2. Goals are strangely at odds with long-term progress.

You might think your goal will keep you motivated over the long-term, but that’s not always true.

Consider someone training for a half-marathon. Many people will work hard for months, but as soon as they finish the race, they stop training. Their goal was to finish the half-marathon and now that they have completed it, that goal is no longer there to motivate them. When all of your hard work is focused on a particular goal, what is left to push you forward after you achieve it?

This can create a type of “yo-yo effect” where people go back and forth from working on a goal to not working on one. This type of cycle makes it difficult to build upon your progress for the long-term.

SOLUTION: Release the need for immediate results.

I was training at the gym last week and I was doing my second-to-last set of clean and jerks. When I hit that rep, I felt a small twinge in my leg. It wasn’t painful or an injury, just a sign of fatigue near the end of my workout. For a minute or two, I thought about doing my final set. Then, I reminded myself that I plan to do this for the rest of my life and decided to call it a day.

Related: 8 Steps to Having Wildly Productive Mornings

In a situation like the one above, a goal-based mentality will tell you to finish the workout and reach your goal. After all, if you set a goal and you don’t reach it, then you feel like a failure.

But with a systems-based mentality, I had no trouble moving on. Systems-based thinking is never about hitting a particular number, it’s about sticking to the process and not missing workouts.

Of course, I know that if I never miss a workout, then I will lift bigger weights in the long-run. And that’s why systems are more valuable than goals. Goals are about the short-term result. Systems are about the long-term process. In the end, process always wins.

3. Goals suggest that you can control things that you have no control over.

You can’t predict the future. (I know, shocking.)

But every time we set a goal, we try to do it. We try to plan out where we will be and when we will make it there. We try to predict how quickly we can make progress, even though we have no idea what circumstances or situations will arise along the way.

SOLUTION: Build feedback loops.

Read more: http://www.entrepreneur.com/article/230333#ixzz2q0Zpqo1I

http://www.entrepreneur.com/article/230333#

Action Required! Connect with the Genius Within Now!

Is your inner battery power getting low? How can recharge yourself on the inside? Since you did not come with a manual, it is important to gain an understanding of how your “inner self” or “machinery” operates before you can expect it to function at its highest, most efficient capacity.

If you were an owl, you could see around your physical self 270 degrees. (Great video on owls!) Sure, you can use two mirrors to look at the back of your head or use three mirrors to see every side of yourself while you twist or ask someone if you have a “kick me” sticker on your back.  How can you get an owl’s view of the back side of your personality?

Assessments are an efficient way to get a 360 degree view of you on the inside, your personality; your inner genius.  I gravitate towards assessments without wrong answers.  After completing the StrengthsFinder 2.0 assessment, one of my clients said,

“That is the first time I have ever taken an assessment where I knew all the answers!”

Yes, you can analyze and try to understand the feedback you receive from others.  Improving your emotional intelligence is a great idea if you want to start getting more positive feedback from the people with whom you work and live.  However, those around you do not clearly reflect back to you your inner genius.

The original definition of genius is a guardian spirit present at birth.  Origin of GENIUS
Latin, tutelary spirit, natural inclinations, from gignere to beget
First Known Use: 1513
http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/genius
Do you believe in guardian angels or tutelary spirits? Every time you utter the wordgenius, you are calling on the tutelary spirit you or someone else was born with.  We dumb down the idea of genius to mean someone with an extraordinary ability, talent, idea or high IQ.  In reality, each one of us has a genius that guides and protects us!
How will you reconnect with your inner genius?
  • Know the natural talents (not skills) you have and invest in them so they become strong tools or strengths that you can use.   The StrengthsFinder 2.0is one of the best tools!
  • Honor with your values:  I suggest the Values In Action assessment. Align your thoughts, feelings and actions with your values in every area of your life.
  • Look at your personality, thoughts, habits and MO (default mode of operation) in the mirror.  The Energy Leadership Index assessment is a wonderful tool that enables you to get a snapshot of how you are showing up now.  The results will identify areas of your life, thoughts, feelings and actions that might be keeping you from expressing your genius on a daily basis.
  • Partner with someone that has your best interest in mind and will hold you accountable for creating change in your professional and personal life.   Meet with that person regularly and share your agenda, goals, action plans and vision for your life.
Inner genius
Tuned In Coaching is committed to helping you reconnect with your inner genius!Connect with us to get started!

Make my day and I will make yours better!

My Number#1 desire for 2014 is to increase meaningful engagement within the Tuned In Coaching Community in a way that has a positive, transformational impact on our spheres of influence.

How can you make my day?

TELL me your story!

ASK me for a fresh idea; a new way of looking at a problem or difficult situation or a helpful resource.

GIVE me the opportunity to help you create a transformational action plan for your business or personal life.

PARTNER with me to design a vision of the future that honors our talents and values.

HELP me learn from you and create an authentic view of the big picture of life.

INCLUDE me in situations where I can inspire, and actively communicate hope to others.

Give me the opportunity to make our days together better in 2014!

I know that you will experience Happiness, Health, Wisdom & Wealth in the New Year!

Happy New Year

How do you to let someone go with courage and grace?

We have all experienced losses;  the end of a significant relationship, death of a loved one, termination of a job or the withdrawal of customers or clients from engaging in the purchase of products or services.

What each of these cases has in common is that the space (time, energy, commitment) we were saving for this person is no longer needed.  There is resentment, searching for reasons why, blaming, victimhood and a vast range of emotions and feelings going through our mind and body.

How do we respond with courage and grace?

  1. Bless the person wherever they are, whatever they are doing and the people they are choosing to be with.
  2. Create within your mind a desire for the best outcome for their life.
  3. Honor the most wonderful aspects of their personality and believe that eventually,  in their own time,  they will grow spiritually from their experiences.
  4. Know that as you step into your greatness, your authentic self,  you will attract this person back into your life by their choice or you will attract new people into your life that resonate more closely with you.

I attended a Masterclass with Dr. Sue Morter last night and she was very clear about our role in the attraction game.  We don’t need a new marketing plan, a more attractive image or to change our personality to fit what we think someone else wants.  The most authentic, reliable, sure-fire strategy is to be more of who we BE!

Gary Zukov, in his most recent book, Spiritual Partnerships: The Journey to Authentic Power writes:

You are the seed, the plant is your life, and the blossom is authentic power.

When a flower blooms, bees find it.

Bloom where you are planted,  the bees will find you!

bees pink flower

Special guest, Jennifer Seffrin, Founder of the Indy Holistic Hub 11/19 by Be Strong with Tuned In Coaching | Lifestyle Podcasts

Special guest, Jennifer Seffrin, Founder of the Indy Holistic Hub 11/19 by Be Strong with Tuned In Coaching | Lifestyle Podcasts.

Are you a better manager or leader of your life?

I will be very honest, I really struggle with self-management.  I am over the top when it comes to ideas and visions of the future for me and everyone else!  (I am pretty sure my children would agree!) As a result, I waste time living at the effect of mismanagement of my time, resources and potential opportunities.  Don’t get me wrong,  I am enjoying success and the realization of my vision but I think I could have gotten here more quickly if I had learned how to intentionally prioritize my thoughts, feelings and actions.


My interpretation of the difference is that the leader is the visionary and the manager is in charge of execution (getting things done, not doing things in!) When these two actions are out of balance we are not aligned with our vision and block the realization of our goals.

If I am being led in a direction that does not resonate with my values, I become disengaged.  When I am managed by forces that don’t have my best interest at heart, I fell undervalued and overworked.

I want lead my life according to my values and vision with intuition and inspiration.  I want manage my life in a way that allows me to make my vision a reality.

Manage from the left: Lead from the right. While leadership decides what “first things” are, it is management that puts them first, day-by-day, moment-by-moment.
The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People by Steven Covey
(Habit 3: Put First Things First)

Question #1: What are your Core Values?
I recently took the Values Index Assessment (free) to help me identify my core values although I was pretty sure I knew what they were.

My core value is Wisdom.  Everything I do supports my desire to embody and share wisdom.  The Connectedness® talent theme I have helps me see the big picture of how wisdom and compassion fit into my world.

Now, take a look at your strengths (I will use the Talent themes defined byStrengthsFinder 2.0) and identify the ones that play the leadership role and those that execute the plan.

Question #2: Where do you want to go? What is your vision of YOUR future? (Not the future of the people in your life that you manage!)
As a leader, I activate my Ideation® and Futuristic® talents to create a vision for my life and my sphere of influence.

Question #3: How will you get there?  What is your strategic plan?  What is the order of events that must occur?  
As a manager of my life,  my Strategic®, Woo®, Communication® and Activator® talent themes are the tools I count on to get the job done and reach my goals.


NOW………HOLD YOUR VISION! Support your vision with empowering language and thoughts.  Identify and release any thought, feeling or action that blocks your vision.

Please take the time to tell your story, share your vision, and engage in the power of a shared view of our lives.

How can you finance your purpose?

My purpose is fully financed by God (or the Universe)

What does that mean?  What does purpose mean?

“the reason for which something is done or created or for which something exists.”

When I believe in my purpose, identify with my values and take action accordingly, I will be fully supported to complete and “live” my purpose.

Another thought that his been tossing around in my mind is that the intention with which we do anything is more important than what we actually do.

Intention is define as: a thing intended; an aim or plan.   If my intention is to make a million dollars, that does not easily translate into “my purpose” is to make a million dollars.

When your intention and purpose align………………………the money will show itself!

If you are not experiencing the promised financing………..it’s time to go in for a realignment!