Congratulations to Award Winning Author, Tracy Richardson!

 

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My dear friend, Tracy Richardson, has won the Eric Hoffer Award for Young Adult Fiction for her book The Field,  She and her husband, Chris Katsaropolous (Author of Antiphony) are the owners and creators of their own publishing company, Luminis Books.

 Tracy was a participant in one of my first Strengths-Based Living workshops and was a guest on my blog talk radio show, Be Strong with Tuned In Coaching.  Her strengths profile includes:  Strategic, Maximizer, Positivity, Connectedness & Developer

 I am so grateful for the opportunity to hang out with them on a regular basis and witness their growth as individuals, writers and owners of Luminis Books! 

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Dance your dance or it will be lost forever!

I recently began working with the Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron.  I would not consider myself a writer but certainly a very creative thinker who puts words on a page and posts on a wall as a way of sharing these thoughts.  I assimilate knowledge from many different sources and melt them together in my mind with my experiences and love for live, acoustic music making.  The outflow of this melding is a unique expression of my impressions and wisdom!  This quote by Martha Graham,  the great choreographer that created the ballet and title for Copland’s music now known as Appalachian Spring resonated with me, right to my metaphysical core!

There is a vitality, a life force, an energy, a quickening, that is translated through you into action, and because there is only one of you in all time, this expression is unique. And if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and will be lost.  Martha Graham

Keep your dance going – Be alert for support and encouragement from unexpected sources.

After the coaching sessions with Jennifer, I had a really different and positive outlook.

Steve HarvilleI was cleaning my house this week when I found a piece of paper in Jennifer’s handwriting. She had coached me back in 2011 about my disengagement at work. I was very dissatisfied and ready to make a move. After the coaching session I had a really different and positive outlook. There are six bullet points on the paper and each one has specific sub points. 

The points are: 

What outcomes do I want ?
Why I want them?
How will I achieve them?
My Plan
When I want it to happen?

When I read it this week and compared it to what actually happened I was amazed. I got everything I wanted in a new job in the timeframe I wanted and I did it by following the plan. I’m still following the plan and things just keep getting better at work and life in general. I have a much higher income, more interesting professional life and my whole life is joyful and abundant.

Steve chose to engage in the StrengthsFinder 2.0 and Energy Leadership Index assessments as tools in the coaching process. His top 5 strengths are Learner, Maximizer, Strategic, Adaptability and Ideation.  His strongest energy levels are:

Energy Level 5
This moderate-to-high anabolic energy is found in the greatest leaders in all walks of life. Leaders with
Level 5 energy have a highly conscious, wide-ranging view of situations and, thus, have many choices
available to them as they “play the game of life.”
Level 5 energy reconciles good and bad, and right and wrong so that nothing is judged one way or the
other. People with Level 5 energy begin to see everything as an opportunity meaning they do not
simply make “lemonade out of lemons,” but they are genuinely as excited by the things that do not go
as planned as by the things that do. The core thought is on reconciling, or accepting, differences,
rather than identifying and focusing upon trying to change them.
The intention associated with this energy is predominantly, “We all win or no one wins.” A lot of
people give lip service to this concept, but few actually walk the talk with it. Leaders with Level 5
energy are calm, powerful, entrepreneurial-minded, confident, and feel a sense of inner peace and
fulfillment. They are in control of their lives and live with the belief that they can and do choose their life
experience.

Energy Level 7
This is the highest level of anabolic energy, which is characterized by completely objective thinking,
non-judgment, and fearlessness. The master of this level can tap into, and use, any of the lower levels
at will.
With Level 7 energy, leaders are capable of viewing their world and their organizations with complete
objectivity. At this level, it is understood that “Winning and losing are illusions”; they are terms that
humans created to help us play the game of life by the rules we also created. No human resonates
completely at this level, but with practice, everyone can learn to access it.
People who tap into this level of energy are the most powerful people in the world. They consciously
co-create their life experience and are participants and observers at the same time.

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Yes, you can buy happiness! (and you are going to want to make it a habit!)

I have been thinking about all of the things in this world that are FREE!  Despite what our consumer driven society tells us – it does not cost money to lose weight.  Face it;  eating less,  exercising outdoors ( now that it is finally spring!) and moving more often during the day for any reason is all FREE and can even save money on the cost of food and medical expenses.

Spending quality time listening to someone talk and share their thoughts and feelings is FREE.

It used to be that we considered time equal to money but now we consider time more valuable than money.  We are willing to spend our dollars on convenience food and services just to save time!

Save time for what? Are we motivated to save time because we are tired,  overworked, overscheduled?  Are we searching for a little moment of happiness?

So how can we buy happiness?  Spending our money on others actually produces feelings of happiness more than spending money on ourselves.

The Biblical practice of tithing has power because it doesn’t wait for the future.  It draws a state of flow into the present by insisting, “In this moment, I have plenty. I’m rich enough to give.”

Tosha Silver from Outrageous Openness

In this TED Talk by Michael Norton he shares the research on happiness producing events.  Happy people are everywhere these days.  Clean pictures of happy people in work clothes are showing up on everything – I even changed my website banner to convey more happiness and community.  The “pro-social experience” is described as one in which each team member contributes for the good (or fun) of the group and this activity gets the highest potential happiness ratings.

How can I engage in “pro-social” events on a daily basis?  The key is to be a part of a group that contributes equally for the common good.  That describes the overwhelming attractiveness of walks or runs for causes, benefit events and opportunities to donate to victims of natural disasters or human suffering. I would like to go one step further and suggest that the “pro-social” experience may lead to joyfulness!  Be careful how happy you start to get – it might stick with you and become inner joy and gratitude!

“Happiness is tied to circumstances and joyfulness is tied to spirit and gratitude.”

Brené Brown from The Gifts of Imperfection

 

What has you stuck in the mud?

In the fall of 2013 I was fortunate to have a coaching job fall in my lap through a referral from a good friend in the Public Relations business.  At the same time I added new private clients and was really feeling good about my growth and maturity as a professional coach.  Then the holidays and the snow and the polar vortex and seasonal depression and……………..let’s pile on all kinds of things to justify a slump! Futuristic is one of my StrengthsFinder talent themes and it is making me sick to feel like I am stuck!stuck-in-the-mud-500x333

What is holding me back from maintaining and expanding my success?

Let’s zoom out and see what a slump or feeling stuck is really made of.

Outer circumstances:  Maybe the weather and time of year could be a factor.  I definitely felt at the effect of the weather but I was not alone – everyone did.
THE WINTER of 2014 IS REALLY OVER NOW –CELEBRATE SPRING!

Inner thoughts and feelings: Now this gets personal!  Here are names of the ugly “barriers to success” monsters that live in my head.

  • Limiting Beliefs:  Something I learned from someone else that says, “This is not possible”
  • Assumptions:  Believing that the past (bad experience) will repeat itself.
  • Interpretations: Creating an opinion about something from only one viewpoint.
  • Gremlins: The ugly mind monster that keeps appearing in your head when you feel self-doubt and low self-esteem.

Interpretations are the ones I deal with most effectively in my coaching practice.  I love to help clients do a “paradigm shift” exercise.  The level of energy created by this simple exercise would transform damp rotting wood into warming flames!

Take a sheet of paper and fold it in half.  On the left side write the energy blocking opinion you have about a certain situation from your viewpoint.  On the right side, write at least one positive, energizing view of the current situation.  (Have someone help you the first couple times!)

For example:  My youngest child will be graduating from high school soon and I will be an “empty nester”.  Just like any other parent, I have dedicated a wealth of physical, mental and emotional energy raising my children over the past 22 years.  What will I do with the empty space in my home and my life? Will I still feel valued and significant outside of my business life?

Paradigm shift:  Hallelujah!  I have done the best job I knew how to do and they are launching into their own lives as best they can.  The time has come for me to focus on me and have fun creating a new social and professional life!   Wow, what an opportunity!  I haven’t done that in 22 years!

Now, take the left side, tear it off and burn it. Take the right side of the page and post it somewhere you will see it every day.   Repeat this exercise until you have nothing to write on the left side of the page!

Let me know how this works for you!  I feel better already!

 

Do you want more than a networking social life?

imagesTuned In Coaching is celebrating its 3rd anniversary.  Three years ago (50th birthdays usually cause one to take a serious look at one’s life!)  I decided to try something different by completing professional certifications in coaching and corporate training, as well as traveling to upstate New York for a three day retreat with Marianne Williamson.  A wonderful 50th birthday present to ME!  This past Sunday I celebrated my 53rd birthday and once again I am taking a serious look at my business and my life.

I am spending more time in front of a computer; I have hundreds of new connections, friends, groups and circles.  Honestly, I feel loved by those closest to me. I do appreciate Facebook birthday wishes and reconnecting with classmates all over the world but online relationships are not filling my need for deep human interaction.

One of the things I hated about online dating was the difference between connecting with random single men and spending quality time with men that you knew, trusted and felt comfortable with.  Unfortunately, the men I enjoyed being with were happily married to my close friends! You have to set aside your desire for some previous connection like a mutual friend or co-worker to give you some sense of context in the online dating scene.  While some people love the mystery, I always felt uneasy.

There are a lot of similarities between finding a new relationship or social circle and finding a new job.  Every job I have ever had has come through a referral.   Someone that knew me told someone else that I was the right person to hire. I always remind my clients that are searching for work;

“People hire people that are somehow connected; not just profiles, resumes or photo shopped pictures. “

Doctors, Dentists, Lawyers; almost every successful business and vibrant social life is in some way based on referrals and connections.  At a time when we are spending so much time with social media, email and texting, are we actually moving further away from meaningful relationships in our personal and professional lives?

How do you build a successful referral-based business and a vibrant social life that is more than just a network of casual acquaintances?

Dig deep!

  • Invest your time and energy in a group of individuals that are ready to champion you and be ambassadors for you socially and in the business arena.
  • Educate your clients, co-workers and people in your social groups about what you want and what you value.   
  • Always offer to help others by saying, “If there is anything I can do for you; just let me know!” 
  • Keep in touch consistently, personally and systematically.  (The Referral of a Lifetime by Tim Templeton)

“When you go out of your way to be nice to a person; it will not soon be forgotten.  You will be permanently on file in that person’s memory bank.” 
(Letitia Baldrige’s Complete Guide to a Great Social Life, 1987)

This is where I have really dropped the ball.  I have spent so much precious time investing in the connective power of cyberspace that I have forgotten how to pick up my phone and make a personal phone call.  I have become lazy about sending a piece of hand addressed snail mail.  I discount how great it feels to share a cup of hot tea or a simple meal with a friend.  I have also missed the surprise phone call or visit from a friend or client that I have not talked with in a long time.

Make someone’s day.  Pick up the phone, hand write a card, invite a friend or client out for coffee!  Let’s get back to being in one another’s space in a way that is real, profitable and fun!

Create space for the right person at the right time to come into your life.  Remember what the Fairy Godmother said to Cinderella,

“I would not have come if you were not expecting me!”

Some people come into our lives for a reason, a season or a lifetime……when we invite them in!

 

Why should you start with WHY?

There are three things, according to Simon Sinek that are important when trying to “sell’ something or lead others. The obvious answer is to tell others what you are selling.  Then you explain and educate around how it works and operates.  We usually leave the why; why are we selling this product or service  until the end of a conversation.

What do you believe about this product, service or how it relates to the big picture of life?

Please watch Simon’s TED TALK on the Golden Circle 

People don’t buy what you do they buy WHY you do it!

Why have I  invested my time and energy in professional coaching?

I believe in the power of the coaching partnership to help individuals and organizations fully engage their strengths, choose how they lead their personal lives and organizations so they will move forward  to leverage their inner assets for outer success.

I am continually receiving priceless benefits from coaching  in my life and business through the work I have done with professional coaches and my experience as a coach to others.  It is highly motivating to have a partner that;

  • shares their wisdom, resources and experience;
  • honors your agenda
  • holds you accountable for achieving the results you desire.

When it comes to coaching, the International Coach Federation shares this data;

Benefits of Using a Coach

Professional coaching brings many wonderful benefits: fresh perspectives on personal challenges, enhanced decision-making skills, greater interpersonal effectiveness, and increased confidence. And, the list does not end there. Those who undertake coaching also can expect appreciable improvement in productivity, satisfaction with life and work, and the attainment of relevant goals.

Increased Productivity

Professional coaching maximizes potential and, therefore, unlocks latent sources of productivity.

Increased Productivity graph

Positive People

Building the self-confidence of employees to face challenges is critical in meeting organizational demands.

Positive People graph

Return on Investment

Coaching generates learning and clarity for forward action with a commitment to measurable outcomes.The vast majority of companies (86%) say they at least made their investment back.

86 percent ROI graph

Satisfied Clients

Virtually all companies and individuals who hire a coach are satisfied.

Satisfied clients graph

More information on benefits of coaching can be found in the ICF Research Portal, including case studies and industry reports.

Source: ICF Global Coaching Client Study was commissioned by the ICF but conducted independently by PricewaterhouseCoopers.

Are you tired of living at the effect of the weather?

I think I am suffering from weather fear!  I came all the way to Memphis to visit my daughter at Rhodes College.   West_Village_149pxAlong the way I tracked my progress in terms of temperature.  Every degree warmer meant I was closer to my destination! Indianapolis was expecting another foot of snow and I was glad to get out of town.  I now find myself in a hotel in Memphis in the aftermath of an ice storm in a city that does not invest in snowplows or salt for the roads.  I decided to stay at the hotel today and not take a chance on the roads.

Once again……..living at the effect of the weather.

When did I begin to believe that my schedule, my agenda and my comfort was the priority of Mother Nature?

Triple alarm wake-up call!

Thich Nhat Hanh talks about a leaf.  Everything in the world is in the leaf.  Water, sunlight, soil, and even the people that planted the tree or kept it alive and loved.  The energy of a single leaf incorporates all of the energy sources available………………………..even the world-wide-web?

“People usually consider walking on water or in thin air a miracle. But I think the real miracle is not to walk either on water or in thin air, but to walk on earth. Every day we are engaged in a miracle which we don’t even recognize: a blue sky, white clouds, green leaves, the black, curious eyes of a child — our own two eyes. All is a miracle.”
― Thích Nhất Hạnh

Have I become so attached to the energetic power of the WWW that I have downgraded the importance of nature?

Now I am ready to thank Mother Nature for the nudge to check my agenda at the door and walk in step with the real world around me.

Do you know how to invest in your future?

Do you worry about the future?  I know that I spend a lot of my brain power worried about what could happen and all of the different outcomes of any decision.  Sometimes I get so overwhelmed by my strategic, futuristic thinking that I just give up and don’t accomplish anything!

The truth finally got my attention!

The best investment I can make in the

future is to be fully present  NOW!

Those of you that know me well are aware that I have a very active mind, maybe too active!  I love to laugh, create humor, and be surrounded by intelligent people that enjoy a good story.  When I am at my most creative, it can be very difficult for others to follow the thread that holds a story or idea together.

I have always struggled with focus.  During the process of completing two music performance degrees, I experienced difficulty memorizing lengthy solo piano works for public performances.  Later in my career, I chose to be a collaborative pianist because I would always have the music in front of me to focus on (even if I got it on short notice) and could use my connectivity and intuition to create great musical experiences with others.

My mother had Alzheimer’s and my father had Parkinson’s, both diseases affecting the function of the brain.  I decided to continue to pursue professions that would use the maximum capacity of my mind.  Music training has been the most valuable mind exercise imaginable. Musicians engage every aspect their bodies to create physical accuracy and performance excellence with intricate teamwork.  Did you ever notice that sometimes the conductor does not even use a score!  The high points of my life have been “in the zone” of music practice and performance.  Now I am bringing that level focus to my work in coaching and training!

Daniel Goleman, author of FOCUS: The Hidden Driver of Excellence,  posted this article on Linkedin this week: What mindfulness is – and isn’t.

“Wendy Hasenkamp and Laurence Barsalou at Emory University used brain imaging while people meditated and found four basic moves: you focus on one thing (say, your breath), your mind wanders off, you notice it wandered, and you shift attention back to that one thing again. And you do this over and over again.

Turns out that this simple movement of mind strengthens connections among the brain’s circuits for concentrating. The more you practice, the stronger the connections.

“Mindfulness” refers to that move where you notice your mind wandered. With mindfulness, you monitor whatever goes on within the mind. “Meditation” means the whole class of ways to train attention, mindfulness among them.

The key is PRACTICE!  Focus is not just going to happen.  It is a skill of the mind. Here are some simple ways to start.

  • Connect with the arts and nature to refocus and train your mind to attend to detail.  When you return to your work space, you will be able to use those skills to create clarity of vision and direction in your planning and goal setting.
  • Find a clock with a second hand and sit and watch it for one minute.  Slowly increase the time until you can follow the minute hand for five minutes.  I tried this with my young piano students and it was very effective!
  • According to Jennifer Cohen’s article “6 Essential foods for boosting your work focus,”  the winning foods are dark chocolate, avocados, green tea, steel cut oatmeal, blueberries and wild salmon!
  • Light a candle and watch the flame for a period of time without moving.  Continually bring your mind back to noticing every detail of the flame.

Handling the present moment with all your attention, all your intelligence, is already building a future.
Thich Nhat Hanh