No room at the inn

Ok, so you are getting some good ideas about what you would like to change about your life in 2012. Great!

Do you have room in your life for a new habit?

Is your mind open and ready for new thoughts?

One of Dr. Phil’s favorite lines is,

How’s that working for you?

Here is a straightforward recipe for cleaning out your life just as you would clean out your closets.

  1. Make a list of things that are not working for you anymore. Dig deep. Take ownership of your own “stuff”. Make it all about you.
  2. What would it take to change a specific situation or behavior? List the action steps required to begin a new pattern. Acknowledge the unknowns in your situation. Examine limiting beliefs, assumptions, or interpretations that might not be accurate.
  3. Write down the benefits of changing that situation or behavior. Get excited. Visualize your new life with a new reality in focus.
  4. Write down the benefits of not changing the situation or behavior. Yes, there are always downsides to change. Once again, focus on you.
  5. Release what is no longer serving you. Just as we forgive and forget, let go of your habit or anger and be ready emotionally to move forward. Embrace the present state of mind. Make space for the new!
  6. Commit to taking action to change. Plan your work and work your plan. Share your resolutions on the Advent of the New Year 2012 Facebook Page. Put your intentions out in to the universe. Create accountability with friends, family, a support group, or a professional coach.
  7. Believe you can do it. Get emotional! Pump yourself up!

Once you have cleaned out a tiny little corner of your inner mansion for something new, keep digging. Clean out another area for the unknown. Prepare a “guest room” for something you never could have planned for or imagined. Protect that space like a coveted jewel. Only allow something worthy of this sacred container to enter in and stay for a while.

 

 

Pump up your attitudinal muscles

The idea of “attitudinal muscles” comes from Marianne Williamson, a well-known writer, spiritual teacher and public speaker. I have come to love and respect her as an intelligent, spiritual leader who has keen insight into the workings of the human mind. Her perspectives on world events are enlightening, fresh and grounded in Truth.

Our attitudes may first become evident in the “terrible two’s”. From that point on we grow into teenagers with rebellious attitudes and on in to young adulthood with a combination of attitudes and informed opinions.

As adults, we choose our attitudes. We can strengthen the recurrence of thoughts that we want and weaken the power of thoughts we do not want. The process of doing this is often associated with a spiritual practice.

In order to change a thought pattern or unwanted behavior we must intentionally choose a different path. According to behavioral research, it takes about 12 weeks for any change to stick in the end. A spiritual practice of prayer, meditation, and journaling helps us affirm what we want and prepare the way for the desired outcome to become reality. Daily exercise of these practices will eventually bring about the desired results.

While this explanation may seem dry and factual the reality is that even if you attend to these ideas in a disciplined manner, without supporting feelings to back up your intentions, nothing will happen. Emotions are a litmus test of our inner integrity. “Walk the talk” is a favorite phrase among coaches.  I would like to offer a new twist on that idea:

Feel the thought!

Mass Media Malaise

How do you feel when you watch the news or read about it on the internet or in the newspaper?  I usually feel a little sick.  Can these things really be happening in our world?  How could one human intentionally harm another human?

Malaise:  General feelings of discomfort or being ill-at-ease.

When we hear about a violent act between two humans we have one of two reactions;

  1. We ingest fear that this violence could be directed at us if we are in the wrong place at the wrong time.
  2. We observe that someone else is acting violently and it gives us permission to do the same.

The mass media broadcast of both good and bad news stories has a ripple effect upon its audience and it can result in good or evil actions.

We have the opportunity to choose the information that we want to carry around with us.  When we take an anti-biotic it kills the bad bacteria but it also kills the good bacteria in our natural digestive flora.  E coli bacteria is necessary for human digestion but can be deadly when ingested from the outside world.  We can re-balance our digestive systems by eating yogurt and taking probiotic supplements.

What is the “good bacteria defense” we can create for a healthy thought system so that we are immune  from the effects of mass media?  What mental medications can we take to fend of the discomfort and ill-at ease malaise that often accompanies full ingestion of the impact of world and local events on our mind.

  • Pick the least invasive form in current news information. Read articles you choose to read,  DVR the news so you can skip through topics or videos that contain too much information.
  • Center yourself before and after you experience the news of the day.
  • Take positive action following information that causes you fear.  For example,  a storm is coming:  prepare immediately.  Better yet,  prepare now for the inevitable storms of the winter season.

Panic attacks can be the result of not having a plan.  Being unprepared is a very fearful state.  Pre-pave your way with positive thoughts and intelligent actions.

Make your safety net plan now so you can live in the present with positive energy.

 

Your Magnetic Personality

Many of us believe that “opposites attract” when it comes to personal relationships. We often blindly seek out a partner with opposite characteristics so that we can live a balanced life and have normal children!

In the business world, we put together a job description for a particular position and then hope to attract qualified candidates. The interviewing process includes factual and intuitive judgments. The result is still not an absolute match and it can take a period to determine if we made the correct personnel selection.

I use the  StrengthsFinder 2.0 assessment results with my coaching clients to them  recognize their individual strengths and we work towards  using them in every part of their lives to maximize personal success and impact. By cross-referencing of each of the 34 strengths, identified one can identify the additional strengths that they need in their life or business teams and the strengths that need their unique combinations of strengths. We create a diagram called the “web of strength”.

In this case, we are co-creating harmony between individuals. Just as the salesperson attracts the interested buyer, their needs are complimentary. They are attracting the opposite but with the same intention of creating satisfaction and an exchange of energy in the form of money or product/service.

The Law of Attraction is a metaphysical belief that “like attracts like”. Another way of thinking of this is that the shopper thinks about robberies in a crowded shopping mall and the person that intends to steal from someone’s purse or pocket in a crowded shopping mall is thinking about the same thing. They share like thoughts so the person operating from fear is attracting the person looking for a victim. They are actually attracting each other!

All of our thoughts are powerful. Clear, positive intentions along with strong “I AM” affirmations are powerful.

The very first step is to say,

“I want to know what I want!”

Tell us what you heard from your inner voice today.

 

All in good time!

I don’t wear a watch anymore.  I count on my cell phone or my computer to tell me exactly what time it is.

I work best with an alarm system that tells me when to take medication,  leave for an appointment or wake up!

I like to keep track of my work hours during the week.   It feels so good when the oven timer I use to keep track of time goes off and I can hardly pull myself away from my work to turn it off or reset it.  Since I have started working at home most of the time it is a good way to hold myself accountable to my goals.  I also realize that I accomplish more in 4 hours of uninterrupted work at home than most people get done in 8 hours at the office.

What does all of this calculating and recording of time mean?  For me,  it is about accountability.

What if the concept of time I schedule my life around is just an illusion?  Is there a bigger picture of time that is unimaginable to me?  How do I connect with it and benefit from its wisdom?

Beethoven used the poem,  Ode to Joy by Friedrich von Schiller in the final movement of his famous Ninth Symphony.  Here is a portion of one of the refrain stanzas:

Joy is called the strong spring
In the perpetuity of nature.
Joy, joy drives the wheels
In the earth’s great clock.
Flowers, she calls from the buds,
Suns, out of the firmament,
Spheres, she rolls through space
That the seer cannot know.

I would love to hear your interpretation of this passage.

My thoughts are that the increments of time we organize our life around may be just the lowest level of awareness.  According to this poem, joy is what drives the passage of time on this earth.  The big patterns of seasons and rhythm of the universe are somehow driven by am emotional force – JOY!

How would your day look if you planned it for joy?

How would your future look if you allowed joy to be at the center of your life?

How would the present moment feel if you expected joy?

Home for the holidays!

Lauren is home from Rhodes College in Memphis!  She had a great semester – all A’s!

One of things I love about Lauren is that we can have serious discussions mixed with some “Trust me, I know what I’m talking about”  followed by “yes Mother” or even “what ever you say Mommy” delivered with the kind of reverence and sincerity that only a 20-year-old home from college for the holidays can express.

Our latest (and ongoing) discussion is about relationships, especially those involving the male psyche.  While we all agree that men and women think and act differently the one thing that we can all agree on is that all humans desire to be in “relation to others”.  The depth and quality of the relationships we have is what is important to us.

In the age text messaging, email, twitter and even something like a blog have changed the way we interact.  Are our relationship needs being met?  Are we still desperately lonely for physical presence and touch?

I think we are.

During my work at the IUPUI Department of Music and Arts Technology there was a lot of excitement about musical performances that could be done in conjunction with people halfway across the world at the same time.  Ok, a great technological feat.  As a musician,  I want to be in your space.  My intuitive powers of collaborative playing are dependent  on being in your space,  hearing you breath, sensing your aura!

When you think about your desires for 2012,  what would it take to intentionally breathe the same air with the people you love more often than you connect with them through electronic mediums?

Stay the Course

These are the words repeated by Tony Dungy today in a media clip about the Indianapolis Colts.

He is urging the ownership to stick with the current coach,

stay the course.

Times have been rough with every coach,

stay the course.

We have been up and we have been down,

stay the course.

How does this apply to our own individual lives?

List all of the really good habits you have.

List all the good paths you have established.

List all of the goals you are in the midst of accomplishing.

How will you “stay the course” in 2012?

When we choose to stay the course, it must be a course based on truth.  It would be easy to base your path set on what is true.  I have a good education, come from a good family and am a basically good person.  I deserve the best in this world.    These things may be true but the truth is that much more is required of us.  We are not meant to rest and rely on our “inheritance”.  We are called to have a positive impact on the world and not just acquire the accoutrements of comfort.

How will you discover Truth?

No one can compete with you being you.

In each area of our lives we compare our success with the success of others.  When we put all of the areas together it is much more complex than comparing apples with oranges.  The combination of each area creates an entirely unique human story.

It seems like we divide our lives in to compartments.

  • work
  • relationships
  • friends and community
  • finances
  • health and wellness
  • spirituality

At what point do we consciously integrate all of these parts into one glorious life?

We have been told to separate

  • business from pleasure,
  • money from spirituality,
  • health and wellness from getting ahead in the world.

What does it take to put it all together?

Recently I have been struggling with my health and my work.  When I take time to heal and set aside my business building agenda I get worried. I feel like I am going to get behind,  lose out on good opportunities or be forgotten all together.

I have realized this week that my healing process is like a training process.  Everything I am learning and experiencing is valuable in my work and in my spiritual growth.  This is my story,  no one can compete with me being me.  My life is uniquely engineered to equip me for my purpose.  I am singing my song for the benefit of myself and those around me.

Love your body – unconditionally!

During this whole surgery recovery episode I have come to realize that it will be over when I learn what I am supposed to learn.  Well, I think I have it!

I need to love my body unconditionally!

What does that mean?

  • I will love you (my body) if you lose weight when I starve you.
  • I will love you when you look like someone else.
  • I would love you if you weren’t so short.
  • I would love you if you could run faster, jump higher and not get winded.
  • I will love you after I eat this cupcake.
  • I can’t love you now – I am stressed!
  • Now is not the time to get sick – I can never count on you!
  • There is no time to give you rest – I need to get this work done.

And the list goes on.  When we listen to the messages we give our bodies we realize that we treat it a no better than a servant of our mind’s desires.  We have all experienced times when our bodies put a halt to our plans.  Our bodies eventually say enough is enough, pay attention and love me or else.

Shifting our attitude from treating and thinking of the body as a second class citizen to loving it as a temple for our soul would make a huge difference in our perspective on life.  Our choices would include a conference call between mind, body and soul before making a decision.

At the lowest point of my recovery I decided to make peace with my body.  I talked to each cell and told them how smart and powerful they were.  I told them that I believed that they knew exactly what to do for me to be healed.  I sent them all my love.

New Years’ resolutions are not about whipping our bodies into shape but loving them unconditionally and creating  beautiful, loving communication between mind, body and spirit.

A GPS for Life’s Journey

Wow – what a great idea.  Truly, this would be this years number one gift if it was really reliable and it took you where YOU wanted to go!

I was talking with my sister over the weekend and she said,

” there are so many places I would like to go to but I don’t know how to get there.”

I don’t know if directionally challenged is genetic but  I would be forever lost if I did not have a GPS at this point.

A good friend of mine had a road rally as a part of a high school social gathering.  All I can remember is that I paired up with my best friend from elementary school and it is a good thing that it was a straight shot on our walk to school everyday.  We came in dead last and almost missed the rest of the party.  I don’t even like to go in a super Target or Wal-Mart because I become completely overwhelmed.

So, what about life.  A life coach, mentor, guru, good friend, family member or psychic can give you some indications of the right path but ultimately the proper turns and specific direction is determined my you.

You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink.

Well meaning individuals can direct you but you still have to notice and read the signs along the way before choosing your direction.

The other piece of the puzzle is the will of the Universe. When considering what is best for the Universe, the “my way or the highway” approach is likely to lead down some rough roads.

Knowing right from wrong, knowing your values and trusting your intuition are the “jumping off points”.  Tying on the bungee cord of faith, hope and love  might be a good idea too.