When we put our need out there and it is met, we learn that our need was equal to what the universe was offering and that we are living in harmony with the universe.

It is not about deciding what you want as much as it is about finding out what God knows is in your best interest and allowing it to come to you.

There were quite a few people at my mother’s funeral this week.  I did a pretty good job of remember names and a few details about their lives.  I enjoyed chatting with them and hearing them remember their friendship and association with my mother and father.  My mother was not gregarious,  out-going or a social butterfly.  In fact,  I think she suffered from some social anxiety.

What I learned from this celebration of her life is that she was a good friend.  She was a reliable treasurer and adviser to the Mu Phi Epsilon Chapter in Cleveland Heights, Ohio for many years.  She had a gentle way about her but it was never a good idea to cross her sense of right and wrong!  She devoted her life to her husband and children.  Her faith journey passed from the Methodist Church to a Plymouth Brethren Assembly and then to a Disciples of Christ Church.  My entire family was strongly influenced by the Billy Graham ministry.    After my father died, she was afraid to be alone.  Her final days were spent wrestling with God about her final breath.

Location, location, location

The advantages of living in the same city,  never moving,  never being far from home for long really enabled my mother to have long-lasting friendships.  It was such a joy to be surround by so many of her life long friends and some of my own during this time of sorrow and celebration.

What does it take to establish and maintain important relationships and long distance friendships?

Does the internet, Facebook, text-messaging, email and actual phone conversations really do the trick?

What are the benefits of being around people that have know you “forever”?

Share your thoughts!

On April 3, 2012 we celebrated by mother’s life.   Born in Cleveland, Ohio, on June 12, 1929, she lived for almost 83 years.  The celebration included favorite hymns like:  It is Well with My Soul,  Jesus Loves Me, Just as I Am, This is my Father’s World, Amazing Grace and How Great Thou Art.  I played piano and Lauren led us in meditation with Amazing Grace on the viola.  The Reverend Kris Eggert and Barbara Holzhauser from Hospice of the Western Reserve shared scripture and their personal wisdom  with the 50+ friends and family gathered at the funeral home.  My daughter, Lauren, read from Ecclesiastes  Chapter 7:

1 A good reputation is more valuable than the most expensive perfume. In the same way, the day you die is better than the day you are born. 2 It is better to spend your time at funerals than at festivals. For you are going to die, and you should think about it while there is still time. 3 Sorrow is better than laughter, for sadness has a refining influence on us. (NLT)

I didn’t feel grief.  I felt sorrow that the time of being with my mother in physical form had passed.  I didn’t feel fear for her.  I felt fear about my own life.  Am I holding myself accountable for every moment,  every action,  every word,  every thought?

During the service and afterwards,  I felt joy.  So much joy.

I wish I had more time at the grave site.  I wanted to linger and absorb the awakening of nature and the spirits floating around greeting the new “resident”.  I hope the deer are enjoying the beautiful yellow roses we left behind.

During the last few months of my mother’s life, she suffered through the final stages of Alzheimer’s disease.  She experienced terminal restlessness which means that she had panic attack-like episodes, fear, anxiety, as well as physical restlessness.  Barb Holzhauser described this period as the struggle between the body and the soul at the end of life in physical form.  Loosening the bond between the temporal body and the eternal soul can be difficult.  The conversation between God and one’s soul is intimate and real.   My mother’s last week of life was spent peacefully in bed, surround by family and hospice caregivers and beautiful music.  She had lost the ability to swallow and did not have any food or fluid for seven days.  On March 30th, 2012, she took her last breath with her daughter Debbie next to her.  We are all so thankful for the support and love shared by the care-giving team of Hospice of the Western Reserve.  We learned so much about the dying process and the love and respect one can give to an individual in their final days and breaths on this earth.

Barbara K. Seaver

June 12, 1029 – March 30, 2012

She was a devoted wife, mother, teacher and a gentle friend to many.

You are resting in peace this day.

Seek and you will find
Knock and the door will be open
Ask and you will receive
For such is the way of the Lord

Believe it is true before it is a reality!