When a young piano student comes to my music studio after school for a lesson, I am keenly aware that, after a long day at school, this may be the first time, all day, that someone has really stopped what they were doing and placed their full attention on them, in a good way! I believe this may be even truer for my adult coaching clients!
Now may be the first time someone looked at their facial expressions, noticed the way they are holding their body or breathing. It may be the only time someone actively acknowledged their natural talents and partnered with them to turn them into lifelong strengths. And so it begins, in an environment of task focused busyness, the feelings of not being seen and not being heard create the internal pain of isolation that can lead to addictive habits and behaviors.
Yesterday I posted an article on FB from the Huffington Post by author, Johann Hari, titled: The Likely Cause of Addiction Has Been Discovered, and It Is Not What You Think. Within hours, hundreds of people were “shown” the article and many people shared it. Obviously a hot topic!
“So the opposite of addiction is not sobriety. It is human connection.”
I strongly encourage you to read the entire article. It is not just about addiction, I think it can be applied to any destructive habit of mind or body! Building and connecting with others through a loving community is the answer and natural desire of every human being.
When our lives are solely focused on task, accomplishment, and achievement, we become lonely, isolated and in essence, open to addictive behaviors. I know for a fact , as someone that works from home, when I spend too much time by myself, physically, I eat more, I check my email or my phone more often, I waste countless minutes that turn into hours on social media. I am not being seen, touched or sharing energetic space with others in a way that meets my need for human connection. This is why so many people work in coffee shops or group work spaces, just to be a part of the human energy stream.
“Addiction is an adaptation. It’s not you. It’s your cage. We need now to talk about social recovery — how we all recover, together, from the sickness of isolation that is sinking on us like a thick fog.” Bruce Alexander
As you look around in public places, restaurants, events, even while you are driving!@#%* everyone is looking at their screen like if they don’t, they will miss the Voice of God telling them it is time to build an ark! What about the voice within, the still small voice that is intuition? Have we forgotten to listen to ourselves and others?
“Human beings are bonding animals. We need to connect and love. The wisest sentence of the twentieth century was E.M. Forster’s — “only connect.” But we have created an environment and a culture that cut us off from connection, or offer only the parody of it offered by the Internet. The rise of addiction is a symptom of a deeper sickness in the way we live — constantly directing our gaze towards the next shiny object we should buy, rather than the human beings all around us.” Johann Hari
Another good article I read this week is the 5 Spiritual Perspectives Backed By Science That Will Shift Your Mindset. The first of these five perspectives is:
“Ancient Spiritual Science in many traditions of study point back to singular God in the Universe, a concept now being proven by quantum physics. We live in a unified field of energy which interconnects everything. This means that literally the entire Universe, every particle, is conscious. And it’s exponentially evolving. If our entire world embraced this perspective flipping truth, we’d be working for the benefit of each other as a Global organism.”
I would like to propose that the solution to the issues of addiction, prompted by a sense of separation from humanity, is to go back to the simple rules we learned before crossing a street as a child.
STOP: Stop what you are doing, step away from task, put down your device, feel intuitively what is going on in your environment.
LOOK: Look at the people, things, nature, colors, around you. Acknowledge others with an “I see you” smile, nod, gentle word or heartfelt curiosity. See the strengths and genius in the people around you.
LISTEN: Listen to your own inner voice through quiet meditation. Listen to those around you. What are people saying, dig deep to discover the underlying meaning of the tone, emotion and intention they are trying to express and the words they are using? Ask for clarity, ask for bottom lining, ask them, “What do you need right now?”
Now it is time to cross the street together and create a life of connection in a spirit of co-creation.