This past Sunday I attended a church that was kicking off their annual spiritual growth campaign called “Stronger”. This first week is about balancing our lives by making sure that we are including enough play!!!!
Steven Covey, in his book The Seven Habits of Highly Successful People, writes this:
Habit 7 is about taking time to sharpen the saw. It surrounds the other habits on the Seven Habits paradigm because it is the habit that makes all the others possible. …It’s renewing the four dimensions of your nature – physical, spiritual, mental and social/emotional.
So how does taking time to “sharpen the saw” affect the relationship I have with the love of my life? You might think that spending quality time with your beloved over the weekend is enough. You had fun, you enjoyed some music, a good meal and the company of friends but now you are at work. You don’t have time or room in your brain to start thinking about how to make next weekend great, or the weekend after that or the next year, or the next ten years!
The truth is you can’t afford not to!
The pastor shared with us this view,
The opposite of play is depression.
Wow, that hit hard, we all thought the opposite of play was work!
When it comes to depression, nothing causes a woman to go into a state of depression quicker than feeling insecure about how the man in her life feels about her. She may know intellectually that he loves her but she doesn’t feel loved. If she has to go an entire work week without feeling loved, when they can come together as a couple for quality time on the weekend, she is too drained to be receptive.
What is the solution? Jeff Feldhahn, co-author of For Men Only – a straightforward guide to the inner lives of women, writes this,
So how do you and I address the fact that our wife carries around this fundamental insecurity about our love? Based on all the research, there are two key solutions:
- In the face of insecurity, reassure her.
- Even after you’ve caught her, continue to pursue her.
How can you daily, pave the way of reassurance? How can you persistently pursue her during the week so that she is emotionally energized for your time together on the weekend ? Think of these little acts of reassurance and attention as important drops of emotional vitamins and minerals that only you, yes, only you, can provide. (There is job security for you! )
If this is the woman you share the highest level of intimacy with, by all means pave the way with actions of equal value. For example; You use the phone, email, text and social media for everyone that you don’t have the opportunity to see or don’t want to actually be in the same room with. Why would you communicate with your beloved through these same channels?
Make it special. Make it real. Make it sincere. Make it playful and fun!
……………………………………………Don’t make her find it somewhere else.