We all protect our children from harm. Are we also protecting them from necessary growth and responsibility? At what point are we handicapping the most intelligent, capable children and young adults by over parenting?
The children and young adults that come in to this world with physical handicaps, mental challenges and diagnosed disorders all have the opportunity to learn and grow. In fact, their souls have come into human form to do just that! More often it seems that the particular “weakness” a child expresses is a much bigger deal for the parent than the child. Our children have come in to this world as unique creatures, unlike any child that has ever come to this world before. We place so much importance on accepting individuals from other cultures, colors, and religions. How easily do we really accept people who are just plain annoying?
Let us remind ourselves that, behind the scenes, they are on their way to becoming a “Victorious Personality”!
Selections from Gail Sheehy’s Spirit of Survival
PEOPLE WHO HAVE A PERIOD OF DISTURBING EXPERIENCES IN CHILDHOOD OR ADOLESCENCE ARE NOT AUTOMATICALLY SCARRED FOR LIFE. ON THE CONTRARY, CHILDREN OF TRAUMA ARE FAR MORE RESILIENT THAN HAS BEEN ASSUMED. THE HUMAN SPIRIT HAS A REMARKABLE CAPACITY FOR SELF-HEALING. MANY WHO FACE THE ADVERSITY, AND MASTER IT, BECOME ALMOST IMMUNIZED AGAINST THE ILL EFFECTS OF FUTURE LIFE ACCIDENTS AND EMERGE THE MOST SUCCESSFUL AND RESILIENT ADULTS.
The winner against adversity emerges with what I call the victorious personality.
Ironically, children who grow up in well-to-do homes often remain unaware of the depth of their own resources and ignorant of limits. When faced with the first frustrations of young adulthood, believing themselves unequipped to prevail and resentful that they cannot have it all, they are likely to seek relief in drugs or other self-destructive escapes. These youngsters may be the truly handicapped.Parents who expose children early to risk, by introducing a series of graduated sink-or-swim situations can actually help a child to develop that most precious of attributes…..the victorious self.
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