Tell the Truth: Are you addicted to drama?
“All the world’s a stage, and all the men and women merely players. They have their exits and their entrances; And one man in his time plays many parts.” William Shakespeare
You are a part of the human drama unfolding on a global stage. How often are we accepting manipulative messages as Truth? Shirzad Chamine of Positive Intelligence states that there is at least 10% truth in many of the statements shared by friends, family, leaders, and the media. Our job is to find and adhere to the 10% so that we can exit the drama and lead healthy, meaningful lives together in peace.
The Karpman Drama Triangle is a widely recognized model for understanding the dynamics of drama and the role we play in drama. There are typically three roles: 1) Bully, Intimidator, 2) Victim, 3) Hero, Fixer, Pleaser.
The Bully creates a Victim, and often creates a disruptive situation where they can also be seen as the Hero. The first red flags are the use of overgeneralized language and cognitive distortions, such as “always,” “never,” “everyone,” “no one,” “nothing,” “everything,” and “all-or-nothing” thinking. Start listening for this language in media, marketing, politics, and volatile conversations. Have you ever walked away from a situation, only to have your head spinning? If so, it is because a very manipulative person or agenda has spun the roulette wheel of life and is playing you all around the drama triangle.
Discovering Truth, your Truth, and sticking to the facts are the only ways out of the Drama Triangle.
Instead of being the Victim, be the Creator
Instead of being the Bully, be the Curious Challenger.
Instead of being the Hero, Fixer, Pleaser, be the Coach.
The first line of defense is to ask, “What is the 10% of Truth in that statement?” The most significant opportunity for growth, increased self-awareness, and learning is to ask yourself the same question about your firmly held beliefs and view the other 90% as a personal challenge.
Final question to ask yourself,
“How willing am I to stay, build on, and negotiate based on the 10% of truth that we agree on?”
The best answer.
I am confident; I know what I know in this moment.
I am vulnerable: I know what I don’t know.
I am human. This is the work I am here to do.
Ultimately, self-compassion and radical forgiveness are the most powerful ways forward.
Start working with the “Ditch the Drama” 5-step process today.
Schedule a 45-minute On-Demand Session so we can get to work quickly.
Breathe and be well, my friend. Jennifer
Here are some resources to learn more about the topics in today’s article.
https://www.chriswest.info/psychology
https://positivepsychology.com/cognitive-distortions/
https://www.positiveintelligence.com/saboteurs/
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