As I write this newsletter, I have positioned my laptop in front the window in my office so I can absorb the rays of sunshine and bright reflection off the icy snow.  I am staying indoors again today as arctic air and winds blow through the Midwest.  I should be accomplishing great things during these days of “homeboundness” but instead I feel restless and anxious.  This is the perfect time to dig deep into a conversation about perfectionism…..or is it?

I am currently enrolled in The Gifts of Imperfection eCourse with Brenè Brown and Oprah.  We all want to experience a perfect life, perfect health, perfect children, perfect careers and eventually perfect retirement.  Here are some of her thoughts:

• Perfectionism is other-focused—What will they think?
• Research shows that perfectionism hampers success. In fact, it’s often the path to depression, anxiety, addiction, and life-paralysis.
• Perfection is an unattainable goal.

The solution:

A moment of self-compassion can change your entire day. A string of such moments can change the course of your life.

I am tired of how-to lists that are everywhere!  I want to move into JUST DO’s!

What is holding us back?

Perfectionism.  If I can’t do it perfectly, if the desired results are not realized or I might be disappointed when I reach a goal then I experience resistance to even starting.  Resistance serves an important function.

I like to call this the balloon effect.  It is very difficult to start blowing up a balloon.  If you really want to blow it up then you will push through the initial resistance until the air flows easily into the balloon.  The resistance serves as a test of will and desire.

Embrace the resistance, it is a sign that we are on to something bigger than ourselves.

The cost of not taking a chance and failing is greater than the cost of not trying something new at all.  Practicing a new skill or formulating a new idea into reality takes repetition.  One of my biggest downfalls is the inclination to give up early in the game.  Without exception, at the time when I am ready to bail, the reward was on its way but had not gotten to me just yet.  While I was frustrated about responses or engagement on the part of others, they were already thinking about me and ready to engage except I did not know it yet.

I decided to really catch myself every time I said the word perfect.  I had no idea how much perfectionist language permeated every aspect of my life.  The effect it is having on the people around me has gone completely unnoticed.  As I begin to use alternate words, the people I am working with soften,  smile, even glow…………who knew it could be this easy!