from The Paradoxical Commandments
Why would someone attack you for trying to help them. My experience with this is in raising children. The most prominent phrase in any child’s vocabulary is,
I can do it myself!
The intent you have when you try to help someone is the key factor. In his book The Mastery of Love, Don Miguel Ruiz talks about the difference between compassion and feeling sorry for someone or sympathy.
You feel sorry for me when you don’t respect me, when you don’t think I am strong enough to make it. On the other hand, love respects. I love you: I know you can make it, I know you are strong enough, intelligent enough, good enough that you can make your own choices. I don’t have to make your choices for you. You can make it. If you fall, I can give you my hand, I can help you stand up. I can say, ” You can do it, go ahead.” That is compassion, but it is not the same as feeling sorry.
Compassion comes from respect and from love: feeling sorry comes from a lack of respect and from fear.
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